i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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