Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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