I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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