just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
