Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
