maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
