I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
