How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
