I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
