My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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