he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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