is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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