The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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