thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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