i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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