don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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