He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
