don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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