Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
