Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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