This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
