SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
