What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
