my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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