I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
