and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
