the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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