I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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