It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
