This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
