He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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