ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
