Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
