you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
