she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
