Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
