How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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