and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
