You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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