I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
