He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you win again, gameday.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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