I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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