she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
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I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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