We won't sleep together?
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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