I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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