You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize