A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
