I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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