Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
