You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
