We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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