if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize