are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
well I can't set my house on fire every night
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
