oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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