yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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