Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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