i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
